Brendan,
Lately I’ve been working so much more hard on abandoning beliefs and experiencing this moment more as it is here than whatever concepts I have about how it is, how I should be or what I should do.
I originally thought this would be an “easy” process, and assumed that I wouldn’t have much resistance, and letting go of (what turned out to be beliefs and ideas of what the work is) would “ensure it’s end,” but it seems quite the opposite has happened. There is so much more here than I could’ve possibly anticipated.
For one, when I assumed the process would be “easy” I didn’t think there would be so much “mental” stuff to get in the way as a result of my letting go of beliefs. It seems like my mind continuously brings things to the fore in an attempt to maintain the same sort of activity.
This opens up the question of discipline. Prior to these experiences I had a reaction to the word “discipline” as this closed fixed kinda thing I have to maintain.
Now, having seen this propensity of mind to want to keep going in this direction, it almost seems a complete necessity to have the discipline to not go down those roads. For example, when the mind brings up reactions, reasons, and justifications as to why I should go back to the usual, my only real choice if I want to see growth is to continue on anyway. Otherwise I’ll be left with the same stuff.
I’m sure on other platforms you’ve heard me harp on about this quite a bit, but this is only because the matter is becoming quite real and surprising to me.
Although I have harped on about this quite a bit again, my question now is what is the relationship between getting farther in this “becoming more conscious of what is true” work, the mind’s natural tendencies, and “discipline?” Thanks in advance.
Devin Henderson