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Hi Brendan,
So I’ve been recently going through ‘The Book of Not Knowing’ again and working more on contemplation work and specifically contemplating awareness and the practice of being aware of being aware. I think this practice is finally starting to take off and I’m having some insights into the practice and what it means to be open in the state of not knowing and just wondering about what awareness.
But as I contemplate it still feels inauthentic on a deep level like I have these beliefs and assumptions running in the background that I don’t know how to overcome and transcend. I understand that doing this is part of the work but I still feel stuck, it’s like I can subconsciously feel that my beliefs about reality are a veil over my perception and are hindering me from inquiry and not knowing.
As I recently started rereading the book I started practicing the ‘Emptying your Cup’ exercise and I think it’s a valuable practice to go through as many of our beliefs as we can and distinguish direct experience and true insight from belief, but I’m having trouble discerning what direct experience and true insight are because I haven’t had a direct experience before. I think I may be getting stuck on semantics too much but I’m not sure.
It’s like a catch-22 in that I feel like I need a direct experience before I can distinguish between belief and true insight but I don’t know how to get that first direct experience to give me a glimpse of what is true and what is false. When working through the exercise I’ve read all about how our belief that we are a separate self is just a belief, but when I contemplate it, my experience of self feels so real and feels like a direct experience over a belief so I’m getting stuck because I truly experience my self as a direct experience.
Any thoughts on how to go about discerning direct experience from belief in my situation?
Thanks so much in advance, I really appreciate the work that you’re doing and found your youtube page and am getting back into your content as well.
Ethan Nelson.
Ethan,
Thank you for your contribution. I am just back in the States now after a European teaching tour! I will create some content that should answer your questions and concerns and post a link when I am done. I hope you are doing well. How is your podcast doing?
Warmly,
Brendan
Awesome! I appreciate the Q @ A's on youtube and am excited to hear what you have to share on this topic. I've stopped my podcast for the time being because of other commitments in my life like getting ready to move to a new city, but I have been keeping up a writing practice as it's part of the program I'm in. I plan on starting the podcast back up as soon as I get the time, hopefully in the next couple of months.
How have the retreats been? I'm committed to making it out to one as soon as I have the resources and love everything you're teaching in them, especially all the Q@A's with Ralston on his youtube channel.
Ethan,
Here is a video replying to your questions. https://youtu.be/6tpQDcvllAs
The retreats have been great. The fall retreat here was really powerful, then all my teaching in Europe was enjoyable and I will be getting ready for the spring retreat here in Texas quite soon.
Hope to see you here.
Brendan