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Hello
I’m exploring a lot this last weeks the judgement that I create upon myself. This judgement is often derived from cultural assumptions (here I add that my parents are Armenian and I lived the half of my life in Russia and since my 2006 i’m living in France) In each culture that I met in my life there is some rules how you should behave in your life, what is good what is bad etc etc.
On the other hand having read a lot of staff in spirituals books about love, everything is connected, everything is one, compassion etc etc. I created some sort of right attitude for myself.
I’m getting now that any kind of attitude that I try to adopt in order to be in some way : cultural or religious before and so called spiritual now, I do this in order to get something like what I do in supermarket.
Merely when I create an ideal from which I try to act out , I repress emotions like anger, selfishness, fear, jealousy etc . To be honest for a longtime in my life I have been a guy who repressed a lot of staff referring to culturals and religious assumptions and sometimes I realize that even if I explored this assumptions i’m kind a doing the same thing with spiritual assumptions that I have. But. I’m getting to a point , where I start to realize how this assumptions that we learn throughout our life are creating self-judgement, self struggling.
This is where I start to understand the importance of honesty upon oneself and openness , in my own experience when I judge something I can never get that and see clearly what I’m doing
Any thoughts and personal experiences related to judgement and struggling?
I’m sorry for my english.
I was and still am in a similar situation, at least in part. I struggled a lot with self-judgement, stemming from my social anxiety. This seems very far now, but new, more subtle self-judgements arise. Used to be self-hate and a persistent inability to accept myself. Now I accept myself more.