I received a letter from a student asking me several questions about self defense, fear of others, and how to learn body skills from a book. If you want to ask me a question regarding your journey toward Consciousness or Skill you can email me here.
I want to learn self defense what should I do?
Before you learn self defense it is useful to note that self defense is different than martial arts and different than fighting. This will help you decide which course of action to take when selecting an area of study. Not all martial arts are created equal and not all of them are functional in the same ways. I will outline some of the differences below.
If you actually want to defend yourself physically I would stay away from any of the traditional martial arts forms or schools. Like Karate, Kung Fu, Tai Kwon Do, Aikido, Tai Chi, Ba Gua, Hsing I, etc… Any martial art that does not directly fight with an opponent will be useless or just above useless in an actual fighting situation. Arts that actually fight include areas such as, Boxing, Mixed Martial Arts, Judo, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, Wrestling, Muay Thai, Sambo, and others. These arts train regularly with opponents that will resist what you do and you still have to perform the technique and make it work. This is training actual fighting. Then there is self defense which is different again. Two areas that I know of that teach about this domain are Krav Maga and Model Mugging.
When your concern is self defense and boosting confidence I recommend that you train either Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Mixed Martial Arts. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or BJJ is excellent. You will learn how to not panic when somebody enters your personal space. Since, in BJJ, there is none. Bigger and stronger people will squash you, bend you, choke you, and try to break you. All of this is done with large amounts of force but can be quite safe since you can tap out to avoid breaking yourself.
You will learn how to remain calm in this type of situation and get over the fear that most people have of being touched. You will also learn powerful techniques that a smaller person can do with a bigger person, as well as get comfortable being on the ground which is where most fights end up anyway. If you do BJJ consistently for several months your self confidence will go up.
You can also consider doing Mixed Martial Arts or MMA. Here you will be learning striking (kicking and punching) as well as grappling (fighting on the ground). Since MMA is also a fighting art you will learn how to perform your techniques on an unwilling opponent and make them work. This gets you used to the violence that will be taking place in a self defense situation. You will also get a great workout doing either of these.
This video of Jocko Willink, a well known Navy Seal, talks about similar topics. He has real world experience with extreme violence. I will acknowledge that he speaks about firearms first, which is not mentioned in this article and is something to consider depending on your situation.
Self Defense?
Self defense, however, is different than both martial arts and fighting arts. In these types of situations there are no more rules. All social convention is forfeit and running away (the best option), killing, and maiming are all allowed. One major obstacle I see for people in this area is not being willing to do that kind of violence to another human. It is useful to confront wether this is something you can do. If you can’t then I would learn how to sprint, or get really good at not getting into trouble in the first place.
If you want to learn self defense from some kind of school it is useful to note the following. When an extremely violent situation happens your brain will go to mush. Unless you are highly trained, any techniques that you have been shown will not be accessible. You should learn extremely simple things that are extremely violent and effective at hurting somebody. This way if the crap hits the fan you will have a chance to remember what to do. To overcome this you should train and drill the techniques thousands of times so you can do them in without thought.
Another thing to consider is that a violent aggressor will be looking for somebody who shows up as a victim. A person with low confidence and body language to match. Something as simple as standing up straight, walking with confidence, and being aware of your surroundings can go a long way to deterring somebody before they even get to you. Also being able to notice problems before they become problems. Pay attention and like they say in the military, “Keep your head on a swivel.” All things considered, I hope you never have to get into this kind of situation!
How do I learn body skills from a book?
Trying to learn body skills from a book is a challenge. In this case, Zen Body-Being by Peter Ralston, but this applies to all book learning for body knowledge. You must be able to take what is written in the book and turn it into a feeling that matches the description. For example there is a functional dynamic in body motion that will increase your power if you do it. This is, to point your knees with your toes.
To make this real the first thing is to read and comprehend the material. Then take it to action. Get up, look down a your knees and your toes and make sure they are pointed in the same direction. Try some basic movements while following this dynamic and notice how easy it is for you to screw it up. Then do it more and get better at pointing your knees with your toes. Then train to remember how it FEELS to point your knees with your toes. The key is to turn the material in the book into a feeling that you can do in your body. Not an emotional feeling but a feeling sensation that reforms your body and aligns your mind to this task. Then train it so much that you no longer need to think about it.
All the training in the world may not get you to a high level of mastery. It is also useful to have a skillful teacher give you feedback. If you don’t have a teacher you can also use either video technology or a good mirror to help you see how you are doing. It has been my experience that learning how to do something with your body from a book is the hardest way to go about it. The fastest way is to learn in person. If you want to learn from me you can see what I have to offer here.
In summary, if you want to learn real fighting skill and boost confidence train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or Mixed Martial Arts. Remember that self defense is a different domain than fighting. You must win or die and there are no rules. If you want to learn from a book you must turn the writing into a feeling in your body. If you can, utilize a good teacher, if you can’t then use a mirror or video to help you stay on track. Lastly, train, train, train. To have this all show up in your experience without thinking you must train thousands of times, then do it again. I hope this has been a service on your journey toward Consciousness and Skill.
Much Love,
Brendan Lea
If you enjoyed this post please consider signing up for my free video course below.
